Hey dudes,
hieronder dan eindelijk het script.
De dingen tussen blokhaken zijn gebeurtenissen, de stukken tussen aanhalingstekens zijn gesproken tekst en het cursief gedrukte is player experience.
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Script Going for a Ride
Scene 1
[Player sits in a boat, gently moving downstream while moving past a statue of Corné, a voice seems to come from the statue.
“For centuries we have slumbered... And now you have awoken us. We are the gods of the world you have entered. Many perils lay ahead of you, choose wisely and you will be richly rewarded. But beware, any foolish decision will cost you your life! Once you begin your journey down this river, you will be faced with the ideas and knowledge of the gods, caught forever in the form of fireflies. Catch them and savour their knowledge.”
[Player heads into the jungle, the ride flows quite slowly but does pick up a little in pace. Keyword here is flow. No hard turns or steep drops. This is the part where the fireflies enter the game, the player will have to catch them. A word appears on screen, accompanied by a deep voice that says “CATCH”]
You find yourself on a quick, but calm flowing river, winding through a jungle. All around you swarm fireflies in different colours. In your hands you hold a gun-like vacuumcleaner with which you can suck up the fireflies and store them in a container. The area around you is lush and green, junglesounds fill your ears as you travel down the winding rivier, catching fireflies as you go.
Then all of a sudden...
[BOOM! A huge, stone head drops down and crashes in front of the player. The ride halts for a moment as the head suddenly grows a body and stands up, speaking to the player.]
“You have stolen the ideas and dreams of the gods, but you may not leave this jungle with all of this divine essence. Choose wisely mortal, for those ideas you love most may come to haunt you later.”
[Four statues in four colours appear behind the DimmeStatue, glowing in four different colours. The player has to click one of these statues, corresponding with the colours of the fireflies he caught earlier. After doing so, the container pops open, releasing the fireflies of other colours. As these fireflies escape, the remaining statues collapse and the escaped fireflies change colour to red. The DimmeStatue disappears and the ride continues]
After the DimmeStatue disappears a cloud of angered red fireflies attacks you. Your vacuum gun changes to a real rifle, and as you continue your way the ride becomes more hectic. You barrel down the river at a much faster speed, the turns are sharper, the drops steeper. As the ideas you once loved so much come back to hunt you, you fight them off at every turn, killing your darlings and trying to survive. Around you the jungle changes. The lush green is broken up by more mechanical surroundings. Smoke billows from chimneys hidden in the greenery, trees are replaced with metallic contraptions. The sky darkens and you see a looming cave entrance before you, shaped like a huge head. But before you enter, another statue errupts from the riverbank.
[RUMBLE, RUMBLE, RUMBLE! A huge, fat statue (RUBIN!) pushes up from the ground, his voice deep and booming.]
“You have travelled through the jungle and seen many things other mortals would never understand. You come before me, the stuff of legends in your possesion. You have done well, but your final test awaits. Hand me the thoughts you have left and recieve your reward.”
[The remaining fireflies escape from the container and fly into the statue's mouth, after rumbling and shaking for a while it spits out a chest filled with treasure, that lands in the lap of the player. The ride continues into the dark.]
The ride throws you into the darkness, for a moment you have no idea where you are until bright red light, heat and the overwhelming thunder of roaring engines surround you. Around you you notice a huge factory, machines pumping out bellowing clouds of smoke and steam as you thunder through the factory, all the while hanging on to your loot for dear life. The ride sees you thundering through the cavern at break-neck speed, taking hard turns, sharp climbs and steep drops while hot boiling lava rises and you race to keep ahead. Then the light at the end of the tunnel as you're launched out of the cavern into safety with as much loot as you managed to salvage during this adrenaline inducing escapade.
donderdag 7 mei 2009
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Hey Bram!
BeantwoordenVerwijderenReally great story! I could imagine the setting immediately when I was reading this. I don't know if this is the final story line you thought up of or if it's just a first run, but there are some point in which I have to be critical about.
1.
[quote] But beware, any foolish decision will cost you your life! Once you begin your journey down this river, you will be faced with the ideas and knowledge of the gods, caught forever in the form of fireflies. Catch them and savour their knowledge.
First of all I think the sentence should be "could cost you your life!" since the metaphore for making a mistake or bad decision doesn't mean instakill, even in game design.
Second [quote] “You have stolen the ideas and dreams of the gods, but you may not leave this jungle with all of this divine essence. Choose wisely mortal, for those ideas you love most may come to haunt you later.
This is very poor to be honoust. You just told the player [quote] Catch them and savour their knowledge [end quote] and know your telling him he did something very stupid by stealing it.
I would transform these lines into something like; "Brave adventurer, you are strong at heart to enter the world of us gods and to obtain our devine dreams and ideas. But even in a world of gods you cannot keep all you posses. Choose wisely mortal, for those ideas you love most may come to haunt you later (love that sentence you made up by the way!). If I hear this Dimmestatue talk it would be very dark and allmost like he's conning you. Like a witch who wants to lure you into her house, get it?
Last and final part I want to add or edit;
The part after you get your treasure chest. I would make it more interactive, like you get the treasure and you have a moment of rejoyce! But soon after, the vulcano erupts. This is where you freak out and you need to find a way out. Here is where you have to shoot (we can recycle this from part 2) a flashing diamond on the head of the big statue. If you hit it the mouth will open and grant you an exit.
Another thing we have to take into consideration is how we are going to make clear at what moment the player can interact AND knows what he must do. It's a bit tricky caus I don't want those obvious "press LEFT MOUSE BUTTON to shoot". It will ruin the immersion you have and the pacing as well.
On the other hand, if you exaggerate it (REALLY BIG!), it might even be funny and in conjunction with the style of the game. Like Tiki rock letters.
But above all, great concept for the story but I think it needs some adjustments. Let me know what you think.
Greetings,
Guus